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A gay bomb: seriously?
By M the Pedagogue | June 15, 2007
Or, how the US military is going to put The Onion out of business:
The Berkeley, CA organization “Sunshine Project” got its hands on a proposal to develop a hormone bomb whose stated purpose was to turn enemy soldiers mad gay for each other. No, really.
“One distasteful but completely non-lethal example would be strong aphrodisiacs, especially if the chemical also caused homosexual behavior.”
This is from CBS’s coverage found here.
And here’s an example of more brilliant reasoning:
“The Ohio Air Force lab proposed that a bomb be developed that contained a chemical that would cause enemy soldiers to become gay, and to have their units break down because all their soldiers became irresistably attractive to one another,” Hammond said after reviewing the documents.
What? Gay soldiers = pandemonium? As far as I can tell, an Army base is even gayer than an NFL locker room.
And then we have the hands-down winner for Freudian slip-ped past the editors:
“The notion was that a chemical that would probably be pleasant in the human body in low quantities could be identified, and by virtue of either breathing or having their skin exposed to this chemical, the notion was that soliders would become gay,” explained Hammond.
Was that supposed to read present in low quantities? I love it. I checked other sites that picked up the story (which is plastered across the internet everywhere) and it seems other sources kept the “pleasant” in their copy. Hmmm.
The jokes write themselves: New meaning to the phrase “make love, not war;” they find the soldiers with gaydar; “is that a chemical weapon in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?” etc etc etc.
But let’s not forget they planned to spend 7.5 million in 1994 dollars and that “non-lethal weapons” are all fine and good until they’re used to turn large groups of people into the proverbial fish in a big gay barrel.
Topics: "Good vs. Evil", Stranger than Fiction |
June 22nd, 2007 at 10:32 pm
Well, and let’s not forget what made the Roman army such a kick ass battalion of devastation was because they’re generals encouraged the development of intimate bonds between platoon mates…after all, aren’t you going to fight harder and more passionately to save the life of someone you love. If your “family” is on the battlefield with you and not 10,000 miles away, who do you think is going to be the more motivated army?
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